Friday, April 4, 2003

On being a puppy...

I was like a puppy. I waited, in joyful anticipation, for his words, his touch. When he was mean, I'd run away, but I'd eventually go back and wait by his feet again, BELIEVING that he'd eventually pay attention to me...I feel like a naive IDIOT!!!

I know, now, that he will NEVER turn toward me. All of his promises that AFTER drugs, probation, WHATEVER, he would have time for "US" was just to placate me. To play on my naivete. I feel utterly stupid and lied to. A fool. That's me.

Could I have waited the rest of my life IN VAIN?!!! Yes, I could have. But my birthday shifted my paradigm and I cannot shift it back.

No comments: