Wednesday, May 23, 2001


My daughter, Amber, and I have been talking through some ugly times in our not so distant past (when she was 15/16) and we are going to do some writing and burning and releasing. She has come so far!!! And we are doing well. I am proud of us both. Keep us in your prayers as we try to get past the resentments and bitterness of the past that has hindered us in our relationships with others.

Saturday, May 12, 2001


This morning when I came home Jon was intensly angry. He made vague hints as to why he was intensly angry but didn't come right out and say what was making him angry. And I....simply ignored him. I didn't buy into the fight (because I had no clue!!!) And he SLAMMED out of the house. After that I checked my email and viola!!! In my email was a message from him to remember to pick up his cigarettes on the way home. Instead of sending this message to me at work so I could see it before leaving, he sent it to me AT THE HOUSE!!! So, he was angry because I didn't bring him home his cigarettes that I didn't know to bring!!! I about laughed. It was SO STUPID. Anyway, I am so glad I didn't escalate with him. Maybe I was just tired...maybe I am learning? Whichever, thank you GOD!!!!!

Thursday, May 3, 2001

Hello ladies!!! I am at work. Today was tough. Michael stayed home sick which made me hyper-sensitive while sleeping. People banged on the door to give us a tract. The postman banged on the door to give us mail. The school called and Sean had an accident and needed clean clothes....So I got ZILCH for sleep. Fortunately Jon knew about this and let me take a 2 hour nap before work!!! But then I didn't get to eat lunch so i am STARVING. I stopped and got a salad on my way to work which I will eat in a few minutes.

I had ordered (on my daughter's recommendation) a Susan Powter work-out tape (Lean and Fit or something like that) and I watched it today. Whew. Talk about working up a sweat!!! Often when watching people lead a workout I notice they don't EVEN break a sweat...not this woman!!! What a powerhouse. I discovered when my husband got home that he's intimidated by Susan Powter!!! I about laughed. He thinks she has some political agenda for women to take over the world (and why not we should ask). Too funny. And I also got a beginner Tai Chi tape I had ordered a long time ago. So I am set in the things to do for fitness area. Now if I could only find time...

And last but not least the rosaries I ordered for my sister and her significant other arrived. Just a little late for her birthday but oh, well. I will send them out tomorrow. A productive mail day!!!

Hey guys, do I have a cute smiley face at the bottom of my posts like at the bottom of yours?

Wednesday, May 2, 2001

I have been more successful this past week in being more of a "want to" housewife than and "have to" housewife. I lose sight of the fact that if I lived alone I would STILL be doing all the housework simply because I enjoy a semi-clean house. And resenting Jon for not helping and for living a life I see as irresponsible was simply eating me alive. So I have been really self-talking and striving for this inner balance that keeps me from being bitchy and resentful and keeps me on a more even keel. This week I have achieved it, at least for the moment. AND, the odd thing is, I have consistently forgotten my vitamin supplements that were SUPPOSED to help keep me on a more even keel. I think I see from this that it is a MENTAL balance more than a hormonal/chemical balance that I have to strive for. Not that the supplements should be ignored, but that the supplements must be IN ADDITION TO self-talk, prayer and meditation.

Also, I have broken down and agreed to call the endocrinologist. I can fight this hypothyroidism on my own and risk all my hair falling out, or I can give in and go to the doctor and try to fight this on all fronts. I realized that I could deal with the exhaustion and the freezing hands and feet and the swollen eyes, but when I looked in the mirror and realized how much hair loss I had experienced I went on a crying jag that threatened not to stop. Is that vanity? Perhaps. Sigh. I love my hair. It's always been one of my good features. I love being a redhead. The thought of losing my hair frankly scares me. The idea of wearing a wig OF ANY KIND in this heat would be pure torture. I must reverse this hair loss and I have been told that when the thyroid is more balanced the hair will stop falling out and regrow. I pray this is so. I ask anyone who reads this post to pray for this also. Thanks.

Tuesday, May 1, 2001

WOW!!! I just discovered that I don't need to put the date in the body of the entry. I am just now learning how to do this all, ladies!!! OK, first off I have been contemplating May Day and wondering why we don't do May Poles and baskets of flowers anymore? I did an online search of May Day and here is how the US used to celebrate:

United States: The Puritans frowned on May Day, so the day has never been celebrated with as much enthusiasm in the United States as in Great Britain. But May Day is celebrated by dancing and singing around a maypole tied with colorful streamers or ribbons. The dancers twist the streamers around the pole to make a pretty pattern to be enjoyed by all. On college campuses a May queen is often chosen and the old dances are performed around a maypole. Children often gather spring flowers, place them in handmade paper May baskets and hang them on the doorknobs of relatives and friends--they ring the doorbells and run away, leaving their flowers as a surprise. At May Day parties children select May queens, dance around the maypole, and sing May Day songs. These festivals often occur in parks or schools.

Sounds sinister, right? Sigh. I know that the day had a pagan background but it was a lovely happy time that I remember with fondness.