Tuesday, November 19, 2013

November 19th, 2013: The Day of Divorce

Today obviously made more of an impact on me than it did on him...

I woke up at 7AM and bathed and got ready. I polished my nails and did my makeup. I chose my clothing with care, remembering the care I took getting ready for our marriage. I wore my blue silk blouse and my black jeans with sparkles.

He wore a brown shirt and jeans. His hair wasn't even brushed. As I struggled to fill out last minute papers, he played Bejeweled on his phone.

We pretty much approached life from radically different places and this was a clear example of that dichotomy.

It is finished...We are divorced...

I loved him unflinchingly, unfailingly and completely for 22 years and 11 months, from our first brief kiss at Mr. Gatti's in Austin, Texas.

He hugged me, I touched his face, we walked away. Sadness engulfed me.


So, now I build a life for myself...Not that I thought we'd ever be together again & not that I haven't been "building" a life these past 11 months, because I have been...But today I am divorced...no longer married...single...my own person...free to be what I want to be, whatever that turns out to be.

Stand against "To Train Up A Child (In The Way They Should Go)" parenting books!!!!!

Muse Mama

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Silent stillness...

The pool of silence threatens me
Deep and black and still
Beckoning my soul to take a dip
In emotion cold and old
I stand frozen with longing
My heart burning with pain
And then I force myself to turn
To walk away again
Knowing that a better life
Cannot be found therein...