Saturday, December 1, 2012

The Long and Winding Road...



Is almost at an end. On December 9th, I move out of my husbands home into an apartment of my own. My marriage is over. We are on to different lives. I have cried until my eyes have almost burned out of my face...I am not sleeping and I'm exhausted. My heart is ripped and battered and torn. I still love my husband with all my heart, and this was one of the most difficult things, emotionally, I've ever done. We are comitted to remain friends...we've known each other so long that once the pain fades that should be fairly easy. We've spent the past 2 weeks talking it all through and are well on our way to a different kind of relationship.

I'm a tad terrified. I've never really lived alone, you see. I went from my Father's house to my first husbands house, to my 2nd husbands house (with kids), to my 3rd husbands house (with more kids), with very little break in between. Now I step out of the...shadow? control? life of...husbands and into a life of my own.

I want to thank all of the dear friends and family who helped me raise the money for the aparment, the deposits, the truck to move and food for the first week. I could not have done this without you. You are amazingly generous to me.

I have a 1 bedroom apartment on the 2nd floor of an older building. It's a secure building with a lock on the outside and a lock on the inside. It has a small patio where I can put my 2 patio chairs and sit in the sun...and I get to take my Ms. Kitty, so I will have a companion.

I have the internet set up to come online on 12/6 and Avista electric is now in my name. My 2 boys and their 2 friends will help me move on the 9th, husband and I will pick up the truck on the way home from my work.

And then I begin again...

3 comments:

Harry said...

Much love to you from a total stranger who's been following your beautiful writing for a while. May life take wings for you.

Debra Masters said...

Thank you, Harry. I am hoping to survive and then thrive!!!

Harry said...

I think you'll do both very well, Debra, from reading your posts. You have great depth, honesty and courage. I wish you very well:)