Thursday, March 13, 2008

Ohmygosh! Am I an optimist after all?

I’ve been having a conversation with a dear, dear friend about the state of the world and the people in it. I just re-read my last response to her and realized I have moved from being a cynic to...maybe an optimist??? Read and let me know...

having been the child of a violent alcoholic mother who beat me regularly, and who locked me in a closet and left for three days...who left me with her boyfriends as babysitters, 3 of whom molested me and 1 of whom raped me...degraded and verbally abused by a step-mother for 5 years...having been raped again at 18 by a husband of a friend, i know what people are capable of.

having read so many books i can no longer count them, many of them on child abuse (trying to understand my mother) from the lives of children who survived beatings to burnings, and having 2 best friends who are survivors of child abuse and one who is the survivor of RITUAL child abuse (her grandfather was the high priest of a satanic cult and she was sexually abused in ritual, on an altar) i know what people are capable of.

having been alive during the murders of john kennedy, robert kennedy, martin luther king and malcolm x i know what people are capable of.

having watched kent state LIVE on television and the body bags that came home from viet nam i know what people are capable of.

having watched, for so long that i almost had a breakdown, the news about 9/11 i know what people are capable of.

i don’t watch news anymore. i don’t read the papers. i seek to see the good in the world. it’s out there. but it isn’t glorified like bad news is. it doesn’t sell papers and advertising like bad news does.

people are capable of finding cures for diseases. helping people on the road. loving the unlovable. they are capable of glorious art and music, buildings that are so intricately built that it takes your breath away. incredible compassion and healing. you simply have to take your eyes off the bad and look at the good.

you need to go to the park and watch children play. listen to their laughter. children’s laughter is the most healing thing in the world. you can find children’s laughter on the web on youtube. whenever i’m depressed i go find a laughing child. it always calms me and lifts my spirits.

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