Monday, June 5, 2006


WHAT IS IT ABOUT THIS WORD???? Why does it wreak havoc? Why does it frighten us? Just the SAYING of this word causes people to see death.
My grandmother has cancer. It's not the first time she's had cancer, but it will be the last time she has cancer. This time the cancer will kill her.
It's already killing her. She is tired. She is listless. Nothing tastes good to her anymore. I don't know if this is the cancer itself or the medications she is on.
I see her hands...hands that held me...that helped me walk...the kept me safe...all veined and old and frail...I weep in agony of not being able to find a single morsel to tempt her with because nothing sounds good to her anymore.
I see her skin...fragile, almost translucent. Beautiful in an ethereal way. She is fading away like a wraith, right in front of my eyes. I want to hold her and scream: "Don't GO!!!" Knowing that nothing I am, nothing I say, nothing I do can hold the line against death.

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