I've used this picture once before, in a blog named "Superfluous". It's a shot I took just after I refinished the table, but the other day I was looking through my blog and another thought struck me...This is a dream shot.
Let me explain: I know people who have basically lived in 2 houses their entire life. They grew up in their parents house, and their parents never moved. Then they went to college and either lived at home or in a dorm. Then they married and lived with their spouse and raised their children in the house they share with their spouse. One life...two homes.
My life was NOT that way. My parents divorced when I was 6 months old. My father and my first step-father were military. We moved a LOT. I went to 10 schools from first grade to High School, for instance. In 3 states and 2 countries.
My ex-husband was also military. The moving continued.
Even after I married a civilian, we moved a lot. We were in the same city, but we moved from one rental to another. Eventually we moved back to my home town. Since moving home in 2004 we have lived in 2 motel like places, 3 different apartments and 2 houses.
So, I was looking at this shot from the stairs through our dining room and into our kitchen and my thought was "home". It looks like home. Someones home. My home...for now. It has that warm, "lived in" look of a home. And that made me profoundly sad, because I know, once again, that this is temporary. Next year or the year after we will move again. And suddenly, I understood peoples desire to "buy a home"...somewhere you don't have to move away from every year or two or three. Somewhere you make "yours". Where you paint and decorate and you know that next year or the year after stuff will still be where you put it...in your home.
I've always said I didn't inherit that "got to own my own home" genetic thing that makes up the American dream...but looking at this photo, I finally got it. Not that I'll ever own my own home, mind you, but I got a glimpse of the dream and I understand it now. Amazing...
3 comments:
That's such a nice thought Momma!
Not being able to put down roots has probably been one of the factors that has turned you into a spiritual pilgrim whose adventures and challenges are an inspiration to many of us.
The more grounded one becomes in temporal existence, the more difficult the transition to Eternal Life becomes. The good is always the enemy of the best.
And now, I look at this shot and I ache. Even that little bit of "home" is now gone...washed away in the emotional upheaval of a broken marriage...
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